Welcome to the Premises

Critical Assumptions

This blog assumes and promotes the following premises.

  • Readers are comfortable with and embrace their child’s sexual orientation or gender identity, whatever it is.
  • No one makes another person gay, lesbian, transgendered, heterosexual, etc. People are different. It isn’t a problem or anyone’s fault. Some kids are straight, some are gay, and some are trans; it’s just reality.
  • Children who identify as queer are no more or less romantically or physically interested in engaging in relationships than not-queer kids. Announcing one’s sexual identity and acting on it by kissing someone are two VERY DIFFERENT things.
  • We applaud and celebrate kids who come out as queer or transgendered because they have figured out something important about themselves, something that many people don’t figure out until they are much older.
  • We cheer on LGBT kids because knowing that you are queer/transgendered and sharing it with the often hostile world is REALLY, REALLY scary and they are being very brave.
  • Sexual identity (who gives you butterflies in your tummy) and gender identity (are you happy being “a boy,” “a girl,” masculine, feminine, both, neither, . . .) are different.
  • Many people recognize their sexual and gender identities at a very young age. Parents chuckle that four-year-old Emma likes four-year-old Jack and say she’s going to marry him when she grows up. Yet many parents fail to find it cute when little Emma wants to marry Gianna, or Emma wants to be Jack.
  • Lots of queer kids know who they like or would like to be, but don’t have the concepts or language to describe who they are.
  • It is important to give children the language and confidence to articulate who they are as they grow up. No child should be labeled with the concepts and language of prejudice and hatred before they learn the concepts and language of identity and pride.
  • A parent is someone who loves, nurtures, and supports a child. Parenthood is not simply defined by blood, genetics, living in the same home, legal documents, etc. For young children caregivers and family members must be stalwart advocates and protectors because LGBT children can be especially vulnerable and alone in our society.

2 Comments on “Welcome to the Premises”

  1. Lyla Cicero says:

    Wow, I am so glad I found your blog after seeing it mentioned in Huffingston Post. As a parent, I feel I have found a role model, and as a psychotherapist who specialize in treating sexual minorities, including gender variant and LGBT kids, an invaluable resource. You are doing a great service here. Thank you!

    • Queer Kid's Mom says:

      Thanks so much. I really appreciate it. Truly there are not enough resources available for this new wave of LGBT/gender non-conforming families. The fact that our numbers are growing is a testament to the fact that our generation really has made the world a little better for today’s LGBTQ kids.

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